quarter-life revelations

i never realized how much of a porn ’stache my dad used to have.

my mom tells this hilarious story about when i was 3 or 4, after i’d just gotten done wiping my own ass all by myself without any help (a new thing at the time).  i’d gone up to my dad and pulled on his mustache hairs.  i was fascinated by the fact that he said it didn’t hurt his face the same as when the ornery color-struck little witches in my pre-school class pulled my hair.  but this time, i had little kid butt hands.  it took 2 seconds for him to realize the stench being forced directly into his nostrils was poo.  my dad flipped the fuck out.  he jumped up off of the couch and was all; “JESUS CHRIST, CHRISTINA!  EWW! GO WASH YOUR HANDS!”  whatevsies.  i just forgot.

“is that dakota fanning?”

      …said alex from across the room.  circa 2006.

look how cute

this is a picture of my cousin steph and i at some party.  may even be at my parent’s wedding reception.  my folks didn’t opt for the shot-gun thing.  they married when i was 5.  i was the flower girl, and because of this i nearly ruined my parent’s wedding.  in retrospect, maybe i was trying to save them, but thats totes another blog entry.

helen

this is how i want my body to look when i’m like 100.

 

teh holidayz

so it begins.  i’m kind of sad i don’t get as excited about this season as i used to.  

i made these cookies last christmas eve with alex.  this year i’ll be in portland for christmas, which is where i spent the first 18 years of my life, cookie-making.  i’ll probably make some more this year.  i’m meeting up with sal (alex) in atl for new years and what not.  maybe i’ll bring him some.

listen up!

if i could hand pick a singing voice for myself, i think it’d be a toss up between nina simone’s, mariah carey’s, pink’s, and adele’s.  her sound is, paradoxically, unprocessed but spotless.  listen to:

• chasing pavements
• crazy for you
• right as rain
• cold shoulder

a few good bitches

beebe bluff of ‘doug’ fame.  rich, lavender-skinned, dime. 

i need a resolution

it’s literally freezing in new york, this week’s average i doubt was over 30 degrees.  right now it is 26 degrees outside of my apartment, but, it’s supposed to get up to 40 today –a proverbial heat wave!

global warming is fucking me up.  my skin is chapped and dry to the point of debilitation.  i’m not particularly hyper-vigilant when it comes to moisturizing, and i don’t want to be.  i kind of think it’s bullshit and annoying.  so i’ve been searching for alternate solutions.

 

this ones my favorite. 

this dude is in a tank filled with water and a couple thousand toothless little fish. they are supposed to gnaw/suck off all of the dead skin from your bod-day leaving your shell dewey and supple.  

resolved; i need to get some fish to chew on my face so my skin stops hurting.

fuck practice

slightly inappropriate