panicking

liiiiiiiiiiiiife.

omfg!!!

just pass me a box of Cheez-its and a Cactus Cooler, bro!  after-school fuuuuuun…

throwback thursdays

remember when this:

was what we thought of when someone uttered the word “Tweet”?

very quickly

i know i’m not the only person on the internet that remembers these:

 about 80% of my allowance in 1996 went to Fred Meyer grocers because i popped bottles of this shit like it was nothin’.  high fructose fruit-flavored soda with artificially-colored tapioca balls?  brillz’.

i’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that as far as decades go, the 90’s had its drink game on point.  the new millennium better step up game, beverage-wise.  real talk.

wow

my life must have been in a really shitty place like a year and a half ago because i genuinely found this shit to be high-larious.  when i sent it to my gusband (that’s gay-husband fyi) , he was not amused.  i really didn’t get it.  keep in mind i was not using drugs during this period in my life.  i just had an insanely psychotic roommate that used to put her name on the condiments.  memories like this should make me feel good about how far i’ve come?  um… not quite.  it’s more PTSD-ish.  like i was molested, or something.

you so classy

just some vintage saaphyri.  for your pleasure –what else?

cmt-status

 

i miss this beezy.

kid cuisine

i was missing my childhood.  like that michael jackson song (without the residual child molestation).  target sells kid cuisines.  i had to do it.  

and, no.  the creative culinary team at KC didn’t give in to pressure from the likes of Meme Roth, and replace the dessert compartment with a sensible mixed green salad.  i was PMSing the week before i actually decided to cook up this little treat for myself, and at 3am, my only options for something sweet was to spoon sugar into my mouth (i did have the choice of powdered or granulated) or to cut out the frozen brownie in my kid cuisine.  i think you know what happened next.  ill tell you anyway.  i ate the frozen brownie.  frozen –because it tastes better that way, and my mom never used to let me eat them cold as a kid because of all of the mid-90’s salmonella poisoning hysteria.  even though, i’m pretty sure the kid cuisine brownies are made from the same ingredients as easy bake oven cake-mix.  meaning; it requires only a light-bulb to “cook”, or whatever.  anyway, i ate this while i waited for circus tickets to arrive that never came.

remember the times

reminiscing the pre-obama presidency days.  seems so long ago.

ayo, shorty!

…or tallie, maybe?  whatever.  joe biden used to be FINE.

he’s giving such clive owen swagger, no?  needless to say i’d (have) hit it (in the 60’s).  oddly enough, this sort of puts his fake teeth and hair plugs into perspective.  now, i get less of a used car salesman vibe, and more of a portrait of a once hot dude that didn’t take to the notion of aging so well.